Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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