Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
