Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
