I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
