Can Purell be used as lube?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
