Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize