the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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