Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
