It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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