He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
