So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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