i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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