why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
