Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
