you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize