Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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