I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I currently don't understand fingers.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
