first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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