Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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