I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
