If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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