my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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