I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
