doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
false alarm. still invincible.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
