I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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