oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
