Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
