I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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