Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
