Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
