16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
