Those balls look pretty dangerous.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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