i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
