dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
