woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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