We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
