Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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