That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
