i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
