He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize