apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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