just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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