Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
