If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
