He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
