so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
