I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
