he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
