Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
