The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
