does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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