if you like me you must not know who I am
I just pynch a tree in the face
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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