they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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