Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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