You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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