hotel room ftw
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
being pregnant is like rehab
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
