i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
