she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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