He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
