i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
