so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I have fence marks all over my body
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
