at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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